"Even though I can no longer share these moments with her, I always, without doubt, think of her and feel her presence when I flip through the pages of a Bon Appétit magazine."
By Manami Takashina
My mother’s cookbook shelf was a library of Bon Appétit magazines—from 1990 to about 2013 or so. The covers and pages were often stained with water, oil, or butter—perhaps brown sugar or other unidentifiable substances—from the countless times they’d been touched by hands that had come from just stirring a pot, chopping an onion, or dipping a finger into a sauce to take a taste. I’d find the top right corner of a page folded down, marking off her favorite recipes.
For special occasions like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, my birthday, or the occasional family friend dinner, Bon Appétit was at the heart of these events; it was the inspiration behind these gatherings. Orange Layer Cake with Buttercream Frosting and Berries for my birthday, variations on yogurt-marinated chicken (barbecued on our deck) with Jeweled Rice, grilled skirt-steak tacos with homemade corn tortillas, and Vanilla-Spiced Caramel and Pear Tart were a few recipes that we frequented and will forever remind me of my mother. I reminisce on the moments we shared scanning the pages, flipping through recipes, and cooking together– just being together.
Through its recent transformations and reiterations, the magazine has remained a representation of something more than just recipes and saturated food photos to me. It transports me back to my childhood–to the memory of my mother and I carefully rolling up a Frozen Chocolate Bûche de Noël together, or the time when we hosted a full on Middle Eastern feast for our family and friends outside on the deck.
Even though I can no longer share these moments with her, I always, without doubt, think of her and feel her presence when I flip through the pages of a Bon Appétit magazine.
I laugh at this comparison, but I can’t help but think about the scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Nigel says, “this is a shining beacon of hope for…oh, I don’t know…let’s say a young boy growing up in Rhode Island with six brothers, pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going to sewing class and reading Runway under the covers at night with a flashlight.” Humor aside, for that child, and many more children out there, a magazine can be their first glimpse of a life they could lead, influencing their future goals and aspirations. Bon Appétit is just that for me. It is a representation of my identity and it simultaneously brings about feelings of nostalgia, comfort, creativity and exploration. And most of all, it is intrinsically tied to my memories of my mother. From San Francisco, California, all the way to Poughkeepsie, New York–she will always be known as “the pie queen;” the extravagant, adventurous epicurean ahead of her time. It is greatly thanks to her that I continue to explore my love of food and the power it holds to shape tradition and community.
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Manami Takashina is a food writer, digital media and marketing specialist, and dancer, based in Brooklyn, NY. She is currently pursuing her Masters in Food Studies at NYU. After hours, you'll find Manami in a contemporary dance studio, yoga class, or experimenting in the kitchen with a new recipe. You can follow her on Instagram @umamimanami.
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